Better Sleep, Better Life, Better Planet.

Pandemics and protests, famine, drought, flooding and wildfires…. sometimes it can feel like we are being bombarded with bad news on a daily basis. With the world seemingly in a state of chaos and crisis it’s no surprise that many are becoming distressed. During this uncertain time of grief and change, many, to put it simply, just aren’t feeling great. While feelings of anxiety and concern are normal during a crisis, this stress can impact people in a variety of ways especially with our ability to sleep well. It is normal to feel stressed occasionally, but chronic feelings of stress or ongoing low-level stress can cause the nervous system to maintain a heightened state of arousal for extended periods. Being in this state can severely impact physical and mental health in the long term.

Sleep is central to every aspect of our well-being, our physical health, our mental health, our productivity and our decision-making. Our world is facing huge crises on multiple fronts, and we need all the resilience, wisdom and sound decision making we can muster. We can’t take care of our world if we don’t take care of ourselves and that begins with sleep.

A few ideas to help

• Switch off the TV at least an hour or more before bed, read, do something calming or listen to some relaxation and breathing recordings see https://www.maelotherapies.com/classes

• Keep all electronics, including tablets, computers and mobiles, out of the bedroom and limit the use of electronics before bedtime. I also advocate removing a Fitbit when going to bed.

• Reserve the bed for sleep and sex. Don’t use the bed as an office, workroom or recreation room. Ensure that your bedroom is comfortable, well ventilated with as little light and noise as possible.

• Exercise regularly, but not right before bed. Exercise doesn’t need to cost you a penny. Go for a brisk walk every day. If you are working do it during your lunch break. If you use the bus walk to the next bus stop along the road instead of the closest one to you. Do your best to get around 10 thousand steps in a day but don’t beat yourself up if you don’t. Tomorrow is another day and exercise should be enjoyable, not a chore.

• Following some lifestyle changes can also help such as adapting to a healthier diet, less alcohol and caffeine intake and seeking support from friends and family. If you have to have a daytime snooze try to limit this to 45 minutes. Try to set a time for bed and time for getting up and stick to it regardless of how much sleep you have had.

• I sometimes suggest to my clients that they leave a pen and paper next to the bed and if they wake in the middle of the night with their mind churning, write it down even if it is just random words, pictures or feelings. They can then come back to it when they get up in the morning.

• If you still cannot get a handle on the way stress is impacting your sleep, please see a professional for help. There are very effective ways of dealing with sleep problems without having to resort to medication however, it is always a good idea to seek the advice of your GP.

Quality sleep is crucial to ensure good health and quality of life. Extending our sleep period also improves our mental and body performances during the day and, last but not least, enhances our dreaming experience, as REM stages are mostly concentrated in the final portion of sleep, which is often curtailed by the urging rules of modern life. Please, don’t suffer in silence… you are doing more harm to your body by not getting the help that you need.

You are most welcome to contact me in this regard, let’s get your circadian rhythm back on track, Sound sleep is a vital, treasured function.

Self-Care In Uncertain Times

We are all facing unprecedented times. For a large number of people the current situation with Covid-19 in the UK has led to a greater sense of community as we all pull together and look out for each other. However for many the isolation and social distancing measures we are all having to adapt to have triggered heightened stress, anxiety, fear and depression.

It is imperative during this time to become more aware of self-care. Lowering your stress and anxiety levels and maintaining your physical wellbeing should be number one on your self-care list.

• Exercise. If you are able to go out for your one hour of exercise a day then it is important that you do so. Whether it’s walking, jogging, cycling or something else, exercise will aid your physical wellbeing and help to lift your mood . If you are unable to leave your home due to self-isolation or other reasons, suitable stretching exercises, for seated or standing abilities, can be found on the internet. Try having a daily active dance around the lounge to your favourite tune. If you are fortunate enough to have a garden perhaps get into the habit of doing a few laps every day. Exercise will not only help lower the stress hormones but will also help you with sleep and improving your overall mental wellbeing.

• Communication. Staying in touch with friends and loved ones is just as important, whether that is by phone or internet. Video calls enabling us to see the person that we are talking to makes it even more personal. Being part of a friend/family network gives you a sense of belonging and self-worth which can help you in tough times. Studies have found that men and women with the fewest social connections are more likely to suffer from depression and anxiety.

• Listen to Soothing Music. Listening to music can have a very relaxing effect on the body. Slow-paced instrumental music can induce the relaxation response by helping lower blood pressure and heart rate as well as stress hormones. Some types of classical, Celtic, Native American and Indian music can be particularly soothing, but simply listening to the music you enjoy is effective too. Nature sounds can also be very calming. This is why they're often incorporated into relaxation and meditation music.

• Deep Breathing. Mental stress activates your sympathetic nervous system, signaling your body to go into "fight-or-flight" mode. During this reaction, stress hormones are released and you experience physical symptoms such as a faster heartbeat, quicker breathing and constricted blood vessels. Deep breathing exercises can help activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which controls the relaxation response. There are several types of deep breathing exercises, including diaphragmatic breathing, abdominal breathing, belly breathing and paced respiration. The goal of deep breathing is to focus your awareness on your breath, making it slower and deeper. When you breathe in deeply through your nose, your lungs fully expand and your belly rises. This helps slow your heart rate, allowing you to feel more peaceful. Certain breath work can also help your body increase its natural dopamine levels, improving your mood and sleep.

The bottom line. You don't have to tackle everything all at once. Identify one small step you can take to begin caring for yourself better. When you discover that you're neglecting a certain aspect of your life, create a plan for change. This plan will be unique to you and your needs. Self-care is vital for building resilience toward those stressful issues in life that you can't eliminate. Unfortunately, however, many people view self-care as a luxury, rather than a priority. Consequently, they're left feeling overwhelmed, tired, and ill-equipped to handle life's inevitable challenges. Don’t let this be you.

Managing Stress

With today’s busy lifestyles and the relentless demands on our time through work, social media, family and friends, it is no wonder more and more of us are succumbing to stress and stress related illnesses. We all know that remaining is a stressed state or even continuous low-level stress is not good for our mental or physical health.

Lately I am coming across so many people that are describing a level of stress that is making them feel like they are ‘burning out’. Overwhelmed with everything that they have to get done every day as well as making sure everyone in their immediate circle is happy. The brain goes a bit foggy, lacking clarity and focus, short term memory becoming sporadic. The day feels like you have not accomplished much even though you have worked hard to get everything done. The body is responding with gut spasm or pain, muscles are aching, head pounding and sleeping well is becoming a distant memory. Perhaps your blood pressure has become elevated or your appetite increased or decreased and you are constantly exhausted. Does this describe you?

There is much advice out there on how to manage your stress levels from meditation to medication. The most important thing that you can do for yourself is to sit quietly and tune into your body, how does it feel? Where? The human body has everything it needs to repair, re-balance and restore if we just take a little time to listen to what it is telling us.

• Boundaries. Perhaps it can be something like creating that space or time for yourself which means examining your boundaries, what or who are you allowing close to you that is causing stress and why? Are your boundaries too fluid allowing people to place too much demand on your time? Are you always giving to others and leaving yourself out in the cold?

• Learning to say ‘No’. We have all heard the buzz words “time to say ‘No’”. This is not always easy especially if we think this may upset somebody or cause friction. How about saying something like ‘I will need to check my diary and get back to you’ or just ‘I will need to get back to you on that’. Sometimes honesty is best and just say ‘Usually I would just dive in and say ‘yes’ but I am becoming more mindful of the stress this is placing on me. So on this occasion I need to say no’.

• Try having a family meeting and discussing your need for space, free time and spontaneity and together come up with a plan where certain members of the household can take on some of the everyday chores which would actually help everyone to have some free time at the end of the day, to be present with what really matters to them. Remember: you are not the general manager of the universe, stop trying to do everything! It does take a little practice but the results will be worth it.

• Try meditation walking. If you find sitting quietly meditating or chanting not your thing or you are a stressful fidget here is a great alternative. This is not just a casual stroll down the road. It is usually done much slower than normal walks, and involves either coordination with the breathing, or specific focusing practices. If your mind is agitated, or your ability to focus is weak, walk very slowly, until you can stay in the present moment with each step. Focus on your breathing and how your body is moving with each step that you take. The activity of walking in itself, brings several health and well-being benefits. It is great for anxiety relief, stress management, and for calming down any emotional agitation you may be experiencing.

• Find a creative outlet or exercise activity that you can enjoy on a regular basis. Such activities allow you to take your thoughts off of demanding situations. Sometimes the activity just gives a person time to refresh and gain mental focus and clarity. Being creative or doing something that is creative doesn’t have to be complex. As long as the outlet is outside of your general activities. Being stressed can take a dramatic effect on your mood and energy. If you participate in creative activities during those down times, you’re likely to increase your emotional stability. This comes from the reflection time that occurs while focusing on the activity.

• A day off tech. Try to have at least one day in the week where you limit your access to social media, emails, DMs from Instagram or PMs from Facebook and even texts. You will be surprised at how much free time you suddenly find on your hands to go off and do something relaxing or away from your usual environment. And those emails and messages can wait a day, THE WORLD WILL NOT STOP. Sooo liberating!

So those are just a few suggestions that you can begin implementing yourself. Maelo Therapies has also started a monthly group stress hypnotherapy session where you can just lie back and relax while your subconscious takes on healthier coping mechanisms. If the class is marked as full, I will add another date so just ping me an email to let me know you would like to come or require further information. Alternatively, if you feel your stress is something that requires one-to-one therapy, please contact me for a chat.

Breaking Bad Habits

Bad habits typically form to manage stress, overcome anxiety or promote relaxation.

Habits are hard to break. We all know this, whether it’s struggling with the latest diet, or unable to resist the pull of social media instead of interacting with those around us or working on a project or deadlines. Choosing to act differently under stress can be especially difficult in today’s world with cigarette additives, refined sugar, take-aways designed to make us crave and ingest to the detriment of our health. Each time we reach out for something to soothe ourselves, every time we take this action we reinforce the learning, to the point where it becomes automatic. This is how habits are formed.

Habitual smoking, excessive drinking, abuse of drugs and overeating are four of the primary ways that people attempt to self-medicate to feel better. Biting nails, picking at skin, hair pulling are other habits sometimes used as a means for regaining a sense of control or to get noticed in those who feel abused or neglected. Bad habits also form as a means of self-punishment in a child who feels guilty, ashamed, or worthless.

Not all bad habits involve using physical substances or doing bodily harm. Procrastination, obsessive compulsive behavior and chronic negative self-talk are examples of bad habits that do emotional harm, damaging self-esteem, while attempting to stave off fear, prevent failure, or dissolve guilt.

Breaking bad habits with EFT is a fast, safe and effective approach. Hypnotherapy is another excellent way to help your subconscious take on healthier coping mechanisms. Mel has had a lot of experience in assisting clients with cravings and other unhealthy habits.

Client A constantly craved nachos with all the trimmings. Mel had her bring the whole kit and caboodle into the clinic and got her to construct her plate of nachos exactly as she would at home. Using a special technique with EFT, Mel assisted this client to completely break that craving which was all connected to a certain ongoing negative emotion that the client had been subject to for many years Months later the client reported that she no longer suffers from this craving.

Client B could not resist chocolate and knew that this had got out of control. Mel got her to bring her favorite chocolates in to her appointment. Once again using EFT on the craving the client was surprised at what was holding this craving in place. As a child from a large family she was neglected when it came to having the necessary love and attention to thrive. She would look forward to receiving her monthly pocket money for her chores as she would buy chocolate, go off to her favourite place and sit peacefully enjoying the sweet treat which made her feel good. Her subconscious began to automatically connect feeling good with chocolate and every time she felt low, sad or alone she would go straight for the chocolate. In finding the root cause of the craving this client was able to move forward without the need for chocolate to help make her feel better and no longer subject to the cravings.

Do you have an unhealthy or bad habit that you know needs addressing? Why wait? Act now and contact Mel for a chat on how she can help you.