For some of us the approaching holiday season can mean a time of laughter, family and fun however, for many it is a time of stress. More money going out than coming in as expensive gifts are bought or perhaps just the amount of presents for big families and friendship circles. Then there is the family members that perhaps you rarely see due to incompatibility plus extended family all coming together under one roof. Maybe you are the one cooking the holiday meal which, for many can be an overwhelming prospect. For some, trying to meet the expectations of children, family and friends can be highly stressful. Deadlines at work and an endless ‘To do’ list. The list of stress inducing scenarios at this time of year goes on.
Stress is primarily a physical response triggered by our reptilian brain - the amygdala. When stressed, the body thinks it is under attack and switches to ‘fight or flight’ mode, releasing a complex mix of hormones and chemicals such as adrenaline, cortisol and nor-epinephrine to prepare the body for physical action. This causes a number of reactions, from blood being diverted to muscles to shutting down unnecessary bodily functions such as digestion. As you can imagine this can cause a multitude of problems: we can’t think straight or focus clearly, we become fatigued and emotional, our sleep becomes disturbed. Our body experiences aches and pains, our muscles tense and we can experience severe headaches. Remaining in this state for extended periods of time will have a detrimental effect on our overall physical, mental and emotional health. Stress is medically recognised as the most prominent factor causing ill health in modern society including stroke, heart conditions, high blood pressure, high glucose resulting in type 2 diabetes to name but a few.
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It doesn’t have to stay that way. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), Hypnotherapy, Art Therapy, various relaxation techniques and meditation can relieve you of stress. These therapies offer you healthier coping mechanisms to deal with potentially stressful situations and are some of the therapies offered by Maelo Therapies. At the very least you can help yourself by perhaps joining some kind of exercise that you might enjoy - yoga, dance, pottery classes etc and if you are facing financial constraints try going for regular walks that you can enjoy without limit.
There are many ways to deal with the long list of potentially stressful situations you may be facing this holiday. To help you have a fun Christmas rather than a frazzled one here are some tips for keeping the pressure off.
State expectations. Make sure that you have conversations with your family and friends about everyone’s expectations of Christmas well in advance. That way you can deal with any difficult demands and make compromises that suit everyone. If you're worried about the cost of Christmas you could also set some spending limits for gifts or come up with ideas for presents that don't need to be bought
It’s OK to say ‘no’. As well as talking to your family about what they want to happen at Christmas be honest about what you want to do too. If you want to turn something down, explain why you don’t want to do it, and have a suggestion ready for an alternative. For example instead of taking on all the cooking you could suggest a ‘bring and share’ meal so that everyone takes a share of the load.
Practical preparation. If you’re hosting Christmas, it’s always a good idea to do some prep beforehand – simple things like making (or buying!) the food early or wrapping presents the weekend before can really help. Make a list of tasks that need to be done in the run up to Christmas and ask your family and friends to each put their name to something.
Delegate. Don’t be afraid to ask your guests for help. We can all fall into the trap of wanting to be the perfect host, but in reality, hosting Christmas Day can be very demanding. Asking people to help can make everyone feel involved. Children really like to feel helpful, so get them involved with handing round snacks or setting the table. And make sure everyone chips in a hand with the clearing and washing up!
Handling incompatible guests. If you’re concerned things might kick off between family members or guests all stuck under one roof, go for a walk in the afternoon to break things up a little. Some might decide to stay in while the rest of you go off on a walk. Equally, you can always ask a difficult guest to help out somewhere like making drinks etc just to ease off any potential squabbles. If you are able, try to communicate beforehand with all of your guests how important is is for you that everyone experiences a calm, enjoyable day.
Remember - It’s your Christmas too
Christmas Day can fly by in a festive blur without you getting to partake because you’re frantically trying to make everything perfect for everyone else. Remember that it’s your Christmas too and you should be able to enjoy it. Make a timetable for the day so that there are regular times when you can take a break, sit down and talk with everyone or to simply take a load of those feet and relax a little.
The key is to look after yourself and in turn you will be able to remain calm and focused at this busy time of year and enjoy a stress free holiday whether you are with family, friends or away. And remember the gift of love, kindness and quality time for each other far out-ways an expensive present.
Wishing you a calm, relaxed holiday.
Mel x